Hey Peeps! I watched a TV drama, it got me thinking and I decided to write about it. The story follows a family torn apart by a young daughter who having just begun at university, becomes pregnant, marries the guy and stopped studying. The guy in question had no known family member - they were not present at the wedding, he was unfriendly to this in laws and snapped at his wife when she asked questions about his parents. Her father became concerned or should I say could not contain his obsessive love for his daughter and and after some time hired a Private Investigator to dig into his son-in law's past and let's just say, a lot of dirt was dug up. He also discovered that his son-in law physically and verbally abuses his daughter on a regular basis. This was however well disguised by the daughter's refusal to visit her family and when she finally did, she covered her face in heavy make up and pretended to be in a happy marriage. The story took an unexpected turn when the father again, hired a someone to give his son in law 'a good beating'.
This story got me thinking, "At what point does parental involvement become an unnecessary intrusion?". For any loving parent, I believe the first instinct will be to protect your son or daughter against any harm but then you realise that when children get to a certain age they need to be allowed to make their own mistakes and live their own lives. Personally, I believe hiring someone to beat up your son in law is a step too far in protecting one's daughter but should the father have stayed back and done nothing knowing his pregnant daughter is being abused by her husband? Where does one draw the line?
this is the real question, if u had the option of choosing one person to die would u choose ur child or ur son in law? in an abusive relationship even if he does not beat her to death she is dying inside none of this is acceptable. i obviously wont hire thugs but i wont sit back either.
ReplyDeleteInteresting read. I must admit I found myself taking sides with the father. When I was growing up, if anyone 'bullies' me, my DAD can be trusted to take decisive action. Yeah, that was me growing up. In the present instance, the daughter's in an abusive relationship. She won't like to admit she was wrong in her choice of marriage partner. Perhaps, she has not even been able to admit to herself that the loving guy she thought she married is the devil incarnate.
ReplyDeleteGood that the parents hired a detective to unearth the guy's background. The next thing is to call the daughter and inform her they know all that has been happening despite her extensive attempt at cover up. They should paint a graphic picture of who the guy is, and request that she runs for her life. While she dithers in indecision, it is not out of place for the dad to hire goons to threaten the hubby and make him think twice before laying his grubby hands on her again.
Although some may say that the father went a bit too far in hiring thugs to deal with his son-in-law, I however disagree. Imagine that your baby (cause that's what children are to their parents, regardless of their age) is being attacked my a pack of dogs, would you
ReplyDeletea) Stand on the side and scream, hoping that your child may somehow escape from the dogs
b) Try and persuade the dogs to stop the attack on your baby
c) Grab whatever is available to your and start hitting the dogs.
I bet most people would opt for C.
Better to protect your children with whats available, than to wait for them to protect themselves. They may not be in the right state of mind or the right place in their lives to do it without your help.
So I say. Beat that husband if you may, cause in the end, better to have him beaten, than to have your daughter beaten to death.
Thanks for your comments.
ReplyDelete@ Jo, I agree that you want your child to live and you wont hire thugs to do the dirty job. What would you do then? Remember, you may need to act fast as your child is pregnant, living with a physically abusive husband and she's not ready to confide in you.
MikeFash, lol @ ur Dad taking a 'decisive action'. I wonder what that involved! Back to our story, remember that when 2 people get married they have become one flesh and should make their own decision devoid of Daddy and Mummy. You will advise your daughter to leave her husband at a young age? What if he comes after her? is that not an attempt to control their lives by you?
@ Anonymous,I commend your child and dog example but where were you when she came home pregnant and decided to marry a man no one knew nothing about? Shouldnt that have been your point of intervention rather than turning yourself into a gangster now?
The best point of intervention would obviously have been preventing her from marrying a man that we know nothing about. However, given the mistake that has already been made on all our parts, I would ensure that it doesn't become a mistake that would lead to her death. Hence, the thug intervention.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anonymous...
ReplyDelete